Where Did the Whole Idea Begin?

Dear Reader, you are about to read my first blog post.

I'd like to give you a little background about the whole trip to England.

We are somewhere around the beginning of 2007 (I started high school in 2006.) Our high school had enthusiastic and cool teachers from America every year (or semester). What their purpose was or why it was good for them, I'm afraid I don't know, but it was definitely a defining moment in my life. That year Donna and John spent a year with us. From the first few lessons you could tell that they were full of heart and loved to teach. (I think, Donna was a teacher, and John was a lawyer.) Above all, they wanted us to be able to practice the language. In addition to the regular classroom lessons, they also gave us the opportunity to go to their flat on Wednesdays for extra language learning. Interestingly, I had been studying English in public school for almost 8 years at that time. It was incredible to me that I made more progress in that one year than in the 8 years before (partly the failure of Hungarian public education and partly my laziness). Spending extra time on Wednesdays brought us together, we got to know each other and I got better in English, so much so that I made a bold invitation in the spring. On one Wednesday, I asked them if they would like to visit our family home, 15 km away, to see village life (well Abony is not a village, but there is a village museum) and the wildlife park that was still there at that time. Donna and John were happy to say yes. We went over to pick them up early one sunny Sunday morning in May. We started at the village museum. There, a local lady gave us a tour of what we were up to, and a lot of what my mother and I knew, since we grew up in a village. Yes all this was in English, there were bumps but the pocket dictionary and Twenty Questions/activity were very helpful. After the museum we walked around the village centre and then went to the wildlife park. We saw lots of beautiful animals and talked. It is important to note here that my mother did not speak English and my brothers only about the same level as me, but we still understood each other and could talk. After the wildlife park we went to our family house. Mum made them goulash soup and pancakes. Donna really liked the soup, so she asked Mom for the recipe. Donna went home months later and cooked for her family and friends, and everyone there loved it, too. Yes, Mom was a good cook. I got off the subject a little bit. It was the first day in my life when I felt that I loved English and would love to learn it. I think it was a month later that Donna and John flew back to America, but it was a tearful goodbye nonetheless. I loved them and the spirit they gave me.

The next year, I started studying English at an advanced level, and another American teacher arrived, but somehow, I didn't make progress. Unfortunately, the enthusiasm faded away or was just a flicker. So after all these years, it has become a bit of a blemish, and I don't want to judge myself. (I admit that laziness may have been a factor, but it was a great motivation to be able to talk on Wednesdays.) Years went by, and I graduated high school with English, of course not as I would have liked, and the language exam was not even in sight. A new era began when I was accepted to college.

During my college years, I didn't take English courses, and if I had to, I tried to avoid them. I searched for Hungarian documents and books.

In 2011 or 2012, I had the opportunity to publish one of my research papers in English in Poland, but I backed out. It was a bad decision, and I know that now. I was very good at publishing and presenting in Hungarian, and I was probably outstanding in my year in terms of the number of publications. I loved to lecture, so much so that I received recognition and questions after one lecture. Perhaps this was also due to the fact that my research topics were good.

My next mistake was not going on Erasmus. A dear friend of mine from our group suggested that we should go on Erasmus together (the motivation was that a group mate from Cyprus had returned the semester before), and the destination was Cyprus. We applied, and when we were called for an English interview to assess our knowledge, I backed out, looking for excuses and arguments why I couldn't go. The decision was mine, and I didn't pass it on to anyone else. The consequence of this was that we did not speak for a while, and we were no longer friends. She went out, and I longed for her. I still regret it a little, but the decision was mine at the time. At that point, I felt that I had to learn English at some point and that I couldn't keep running away from it.

I graduated from college without a language exam, so my family was able to come to a paper presentation instead of a graduation ceremony. I was a little ashamed, but I only had myself to blame. I knew I had to take the language exam because without it, my degree would never be complete (of course, they had told me this when I was accepted, but the "hey, we can wait for that" effect worked very well).

I went out into the world and tried to learn English while working. I took a large group course, a small group course, and I had two private tutors. Everyone had a goal for me to learn English, but for some reason, I couldn't. I wanted to, but I couldn't. I have always been bothered by the fact that I couldn't understand films and series with English subtitles, and I was only comfortable with Hungarian subtitles.

At the beginning of 2019 (I've been "learning" English for 16 years now), I made a final decision that if I didn't pass the language exam that year, I would stop learning English. It made no sense for me to spend my time and money, or even my teacher's, on making excuses. My teacher (and now a good friend, to whom I owe a lot) knew about this decision. Needless to say, I was paralyzed with the fear that I couldn't be so stupid and incompetent that I couldn't learn English.

Let's stop here for a moment. One important thing: I can speak some English, I wouldn't sell my kidney for sure, because I know how to say kidney in English.

Back to 2019. My tutor helped me prepare for the Euroexam. We had classes at dawn, in the evening, and on weekends. Every lesson was a struggle, but my teacher was patient and helpful. I have rarely met people in my life who were so committed to helping me improve. My progress really took off in April 2019 when I changed jobs and stopped working overtime, finally making time for English. To hold myself accountable, I signed up for an exam in May, which was later rescheduled for December 7. I needed more time to prepare, but I finally conquered my nerves and passed the exam successfully. Did I know English after that? Well, no, but at least I had that pressure off and could finally complete my degree. Needless to say, my mother was very happy about it.

After the exam, I felt a strange sensation - I started to love English, which has lasted ever since. I use it to watch films, series, and search for literature and all kinds of texts.

But there's still something missing - I'm not confident enough to speak. I make a lot of mistakes and my pronunciation isn't great. That's why one of my goals is to go to England for 2-4 weeks, where English is the mother tongue. With the help of my teacher and her friend, a training organizer, I had three destinations to choose from: Malta, Ireland, and England. I chose England because I'll have three weeks of language learning and one week of sightseeing. I'll be staying with a family for a month.

What are my goals? First and foremost, to gain more confidence in my English skills. Second, to explore my limits, possibilities, and vision for the future.

Dagoca